Monday, October 7, 2013

Confidence From a 14 Year Old Girl

This fall I've been leading a girls Bible study about self-image and identity. We have one week left, and last night our topic was beauty and taking care of ourselves.

The signs that it went well were:

1) I barely had to use my lesson plan

2) I barely had to talk

It was a small group of us, three girls and me. We started with talking about the high school's homecoming dance the night before and they showed me pictures of their dresses and dates. They were freshman, so their first fancy high school dance was a big deal. We then got into a discussion about taking care of ourselves, classy vs. trashy, and modesty.

That was when conversation took off. Once I started saying how I'm pro-modesty and not letting it "all hang out", but also how we can't let it control our lives, and how guys need to learn to control themselves... the girls eyes lit up.

"Thank you. That's what I've always thought too, but every time I go to a Christian and they talk about modesty, it's all about how the guys can't control themselves and I have to completely cover up."

(That's not an exact quote... but basically what the girls said.)

We talked about how it's okay to want to look pretty. There's a difference between being sexy yet elegant, and trashy. We discussed being confident and feeling good about what you're wearing - and it's okay to do that. We talked about how while caring about our looks shouldn't be our entire lives, our outer appearance can help other people see how awesome we are on the inside.

From there they moved onto testimonies they've heard at school about people and their faith. They talked about what and who inspires them. We dug into some of the harder questions about life.

The best part was that I barely had to say a word. A few things to get conversation started, or saying something that gave them permission to say what they were really thinking...

When I left it made me feel good about where these girls hearts were at. I'm always hearing about how people are so worried about this generation and how they are all falling away from the Church.

That's not true. If anything - these girls have a clearer idea of what it means to belong to Christ than I did at their age.

It looks different than what we're used to the Church looking like - and that's okay.

We're going to be just fine.


  1. Beautiful post!!
    I just found your blog!
    I am now following via GFC & Bloglovin!
    Looking forward to keeping up!


    1. Thanks so much! And I'll check out your blog too via Bloglovin. :)

  2. It sounds like you have some really great girls in that group. I wish I had been spoken to more about positive body image at that age.

    1. They really are awesome. And I agree! We talked about body image a stuff a bit when I was younger, but it was usually in the context of modesty and staying covered up. I'm all for not "letting it all hang out"... but it also makes you feel a bit ashamed of your body, which shouldn't be the case at all! The girls kept pointing out last night "God made your body, and he made it beautiful." IDK if I would have said that when I was 14!

    2. Oh, so so so much love for this conversation & these girls! As I get older and deeper into my Christian faith, it saddens me to realize that so many females have been made to feel ashamed through the guise of "modesty." It's degrading to both men and women- I mean, what are we saying about Christian men if we are saying they can't be trusted to stand on their own moral ground unless the females around them bundle up 24/7?

  3. I think what you are doing is really important. Girls really need the freedom to discuss body image and how they want to portray themselves to the world.

    1. Thanks! It is really important for them to have a safe place to talk about those issues. What was really awesome too though, was that they already knew some of these things... but it seemed like they hadn't had the chance to share what they knew and thought. Just, so many times I hear people freaking out about this generation and I'm like "If you actually listen and talk to them.. they have really good heads on their shoulders. They're going to be okay."

  4. Sounds like you had a great time at bible study! And thank you for helping our girls with healthy ideas on self image. You are an AMAZING person! Soooo glad I found your blog <3


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