Just Call Me Grace... Or Jennifer

This weekend my most recent play had its final three performances. It was called Retro Radio, and was quite a fun show. Our director had put together four old time radio shows from the 1930s and 40s and made them in a readers theatre performance. The Lone Ranger, The Bickersons, The Shadow, and Abbott and Costello. 

I was cast as a singer (along with two other cast members). I sang jingles our director had written for local businesses to the tune if nursery rhymes. It was really quite clever of our director. Then before intermission I sang "De-Lovely" by Cole Porter. Now, when I'm at home or in my car, I belt it out. And I don't sound too shabby. At least I don't think so. In my mind, I'm on the cast of Smash waiting for my cue in a Broadway show. The moment I get in front of people though, it's a different story. Practicing with a voice teacher or our music director at church is one thing. Performing is another. I can do it, but it takes a lot of practice. So before each performance, I would try to channel my favorite divas.



Bernadette Peters

Kristin Chenoweth

Idina Menzel

Barbra Streisand

Lea Michele

I didn't do too bad. I got many compliments in the receiving line each night. Win.

However... Friday night, instead of Lea Michelle, another celebrity possessed me.

Earlier that evening I was working our youth group garage sale and as I was heading out the teenagers and I were discussing how I should "break a leg" but not literally... since I have the whole brittle bones thing going on.

During most of the play, I'm sitting in front of the stage on a bench, as though I were a radio cast member outside of the studio waiting to go on. When it's close to my part I sneak across the room to enter the stage. My heels were far too loud so I would take them off then put them back on before entering.

Then... suddenly... my foot caught on the wood... and well...

Instead of Lea Michele I became Jennifer Lawrence.

Except I wasn't nearly as graceful and didn't look quite as pretty. Instead of an award and a standing ovation, my shoes flew across the room with a loud thump.

I did however get a lot of worried looks from my cast mates and whispers of "Are you okay?"

Since I'm breakable... I'm not allowed to fall. Especially not in the middle of a play. It's hard to find a replacement singer on that short notice.

Speaking of breakable, has anyone seen Oz: The Great and Powerful yet? I saw it yesterday and SQUEE Oz and the little China doll are kind of the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life.

Sorry, back to my story.

I also got a lot of concerned audience members mentioning my fall in the receiving line.

The teenagers had a good laugh about it too the next morning when I told them the story at our garage sale.

That's honestly most of my job. Finding ways to entertain the teenagers. It's a good thing my clumsiness make this easy for me. You'd think this would have happened when I was wearing my heels.

It takes talent to trip and fall in bare feet yo.

The next night I was determined to not make an idiot of myself. You didn't see Bernadette Peters falling on a Broadway stage now did you?

Of course not. And if you did, you know she would have gotten back up on that stage and been just as brilliant as ever. So that was my plan.

Before I went up one of the cast members whispered to me "Be careful." I smiled and nodded and sure enough...

It almost happened again. I tripped but didn't actually fall.

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?????

You know, it would have been much more bearable if Hugh Jackman had been there to offer to help me up like he did for Jennifer.

Wolverine where are you when I need you????

Sigh.

This is the point in the blog where I would talk about how when you fall you need to get back up again or something awesome moral to the story.

But I don't have one of those. When I was chatting with my cast members afterwards backstage I determined it would make a good story for the blog. Because what blog is complete with out an embarrassing story? Right? Right.


Here's hoping you feel better about your life. I'm sure you didn't fall... twice... in front of an audience in one weekend.

Photo taken by Lisa Gerlach

I know... I put off a great impression of being one classy and graceful lady.

But if I were to be one celebrity, Jennifer Lawrence isn't bad, right? Even if we do fall on our faces.