Monday, May 23, 2011

The Other Box - Part 2

I have issues with labels. In my last post, I talked about how there seem to be different types of genres of blogs and that I'm not sure which my blog would fit into. If they had a list of "types" of blogs I would have to check the box labeled "other."

Yet, I feel like this in life as well. Particularly in the "Christian world." (Sorry, I can't think of a better way to phrase that.) From what I have observed, at least for women, you are expected to be a certain type of person. There are ways people expect "good Christian girls" to be, and when they aren't - it seems to be odd.
Many of us know the type - or if you don't you'll understand what I mean by the end of this post. Hopefully.

The good Christian girl likes flowers, butterflies, and pink. This is obvious since every publication for Christian women has something along those lines for their logo.

They wear t-shirts like this:
Although, I find it amusing that this is a spaghetti strap top. I remember in high school when we would have talks about modesty that while we could wear tank tops and spaghetti straps we had to be careful because they could become "too revealing." Notice how it is pink and the lettering is in italics. Italic lettering is the epitome of good Christian girl writing and publications.

Speaking of modesty - Christian girls also have a great sense of fashion. She might have to be sure she doesn't show ANY skin - but she'll look good anyways. An example would be the band Barlow Girl.

The good Christian girl also wants nothing more than to be a wife and mother. The women in the 1950s had the right idea! Cook, clean, serve your husband, and give birth to the most adorable little children in the universe. She also enjoyed knitting and sewing. All the while having a perfect manicure.
Christian girls only listen to the Christian radio station. That way they can protect their innocent ears from anything that might be dirty, inappropriate, or anything that might take their minds off of Jesus for one moment.

When she prays - she has a soft whispery type of voice, uses the name "Lord" every other word, and it's always a happy prayer.

She never gets angry.

She cries at commercials and greeting cards.

She washes her mouth with soap if ever (heaven forbid!) a swear comes out from her lips.

The list can go on and on. Now, don't get me wrong. I know some amazing women who have one, or even all of these qualities and I love them dearly. Heck, I fit into most of these things I've listed. Yet, I still feel a little out of place.

When I say that I'm single - Christian girls everywhere seem to have a sense of pity. As though my life isn't complete.

When I talk about a song on the radio I'll get weird looks because they don't listen to "that music." Or I've heard people say to me "THAT song is on your ipod!!?!?!?!?!"

Many times I'll get into conversations with other Christian women and the conversations turn to raising children, cooking, cleaning, and decorating the house. Many times my mind switches to another subject and I zone out.

People are shocked if I say the occasional swear word.

Again - I know so many amazing Christian women, and sometimes this is truly who they are. Which is wonderful! I love it. We need the homemakers, people who can cook, who cry at commercials, and want to live a life that glorifies God. It's fantastic!

But I feel like sometimes we all have to be the same. What if someone doesn't want to be Susie Homemaker? What if a girl genuinely enjoys popular radio, or even heavy metal? What if she doesn't cry all of the time? What if she lives for the days she can hang out in her sweatpants and a t-shirt and not have to wear make up and look perfect?

Isn't there a place for those Christian women? Aren't they equally as wonderful and beautiful? Aren't they glorifying God with their lives as well?

What about the Christian women who check the "other" box?

What do you all think? Do we tend to expect Christian women to be a certain way? Is there a stereotype? Do you ever feel out of place in a Christian setting?

And by the way.... I FINALLY updated one of my stories on Fiction Press!


  1. I don't think we're all expected to be like that at all! I don't know ANYONE who's like that. One or two qualities, sure, but I don't know anyone who fits into most or all of those categories.

    If we were all the same, life would be boring. And it wouldn't work - we NEED different types of people!

    Plus I don't think God cares if you love pink and italics or not. You just have to love HIM.

  2. I feel the pressure as well to be a good, perfect, beautiful Christian woman who wants nothing more than to be someone's wife and make lots of beautiful, Christian babies. Part of the time I have no shame about not being married, or about being undecided about whether or not I want a husband and children. Logically I recognize that that lifestyle is a perfectly valid one, and that I can still glorify God. But I still feel that the stigma and pressure exist in certain Christian circles.

  3. I hear you. I think if too many of us fall into this category it can be off putting to non believers, especially those who don't "fit." I am glad you made this post as it gave me something to think about.

  4. I know exactly what you mean in so many ways. I grew up in a Christian home and this is the expectation that was placed heavily upon me. When I struggled with my personal faith in God, no one seemed to understand. How could I question anything! Why wasn't I wearing pink! Did I just say a swear word!

    Even now, that I find that I'm more founded in my beliefs, my struggle has been to reconcile that with my behavior. What is the "other" box? And where are the lines drawn?

    So. Don't worry. You aren't alone. :)


  5. Well, I can't add much to the "Christian woman" discussion, but I can certainly relate to feeling out of place.

    I can sum it up in one word:


  6. @everyeveryminute HAHAHAHAHA i love that

  7. On the music note--it's the message that matters to me, not the genre.

    My mom hates cooking & cleaning. She'd much rather let my dad do it. And that's fine with me.

    "What if she lives for the days she can hang out in her sweatpants and a t-shirt and not have to wear make up and look perfect?"

    Hahahahaha. That's pretty much me all day every day. I don't wear makeup, I pretty much live in my pajamas, and I am by no means perfect.


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