Wednesday, January 9, 2013

One Sentence

One sentence is all it takes.

I'm suddenly shrinking in my seat staring at the screen, thinking of all of the things I've written, loved, watched, and read, and wonder if any of it is good enough.

"It was so good to talk to a real writer. Not just someone who has a blog."

Not thinking about those people who are "just someone who has a blog" and work hours on end on a story that may or may not be published someday.

Condescending comments about writing novels in thirty days. 

Not thinking that maybe that 30 day deadline is exactly what someone needs in order to get a rough draft done. Or at least to get an idea on a page.

Tweeting about how they took a nice little nap during a movie that many of their followers have probably seen and loved.

When maybe that movie is one of the reasons why another person loves the art of acting and storytelling so much.

Announcing how they will judge someone if they claim their favorite book is in the young adult genre.

When maybe they haven't even read the story themselves.


While most of the time these things aren't said to me directly... they still hit me like a slap in the face. I could be excited about something, or proud of a post I've written, or had a great day at work, but after one little comment I can quickly be sent back to feeling like my high school self wondering if anyone takes me seriously.

It's not that I haven't done the same thing. I have. I can recall moments when I've judged someone because of their tastes in books or their opinions of certain characters. We've all done it. 

A lot of us have been on the other side as well though. Following someone's blog because they are "famous" on the internet and commenting after every post - but never getting a response back. Trying to say something insightful and smart, but getting shot down almost immediately. 

In a lot of ways, the internet is like being back in high school. There are cliques. There are groups. There are the "cool" kids and the nerds. They mingle with each other, but keep to their own groups as well. Then if something isn't good enough (who knows who the judge of that is), it's either ignored or insulted.

Not that there isn't a difference between some things. Yes, there is a difference between someone who blogs occasionally and another person who is currently pursuing a career in writing. There is a difference between a person who goes to movies because they think a certain actor is hot and a person who has studied acting and go to a movie to judge performances.

I get it.

But do we need to be so condescending to one another?


I know what some people on the internet probably think of me. Too much of a fangirl. A wanna-be writer. Too young. Too old. Too Christian. Too Cliche. Too emotional. 

I get it, and I'll even admit that sometimes that's all I reveal. If people don't reveal more of their character than that, then of course that is how they will be perceived. Isn't that was social media is all about? Making people see you the way you want to be seen?

Yet... if a person feels inferior simply because of their taste in movies, music, books, etc. then how in the world will they feel brave enough to share what's really going on in their hearts? 

Because it's not just about music, movie, and book tastes. It's not just about writing style and whether or not someone gets published. It's so much deeper than that. These are forms of expressing who we really are, how we see the world, and how our hearts and minds work. 

When someone insults these things... it's like insulting you as a person.

When your thoughts get ignored, or people snub at your little blog, it's snubbing you.

I know what the logical thing to do is. Stop following the people who make you feel bad about yourself. If someone isn't supportive of you, then don't have them in your life. Only surround yourself with those who build you up, not tear you down.

So, why is it so hard to click that unfollow button?


  1. Wow, really well written. I have felt so much of this recently. Reading comments by people who think that fashion blogs that post daily outfits are pathetic or boring or vain, when in fact it is our way of expressing who we are and maybe the only way we can do a little of what we love every day.

    Thanks so much for sharing and putting into words I never could.
    (visiting via BBN).

    1. Thank you so much! It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. We just need to keep reminding each other to support one another!

  2. Surrounding yourself with people who build you up, and being careful about that, is so important! It seems basic that you should surround yourself with people who build you up, but it's not something I think we follow through with a lot. Very well put post :)

    1. Thank you! And it's weird when it's simply people on the internet, and not people you know in "real life." I think sometimes I get too caught up in feeling like I need to build up a tougher skin. Being all "it's okay if people disagree with you. Toughen up girl!" But it's hard to know when something is really bringing you down, and when you really do just need to let things slide.

  3. This is so well-written. I have definitely been there and know exactly what you mean.

    As far as why we can't unfollow...I think that answer is convoluted. Personally, I sometimes feel that if I do unfollow/unfriend that will just make the whole thing worse (people tend to take it super personally if you don't want to hear every waking thought they had...ugh). Or else it feels like I've failed a test of something...patience, guilty conscious tells me I should be able to rise above whatever it is the person spits out. Irrational, but it happens.

    1. Thanks Brittany!

      For the most part it isn't people I know in "real life." (Thank God!) It's people who's blogs I follow and I really enjoy their writing and such... but then suddenly it'll just switch. It's so weird. But yes - I totally hear you on the feeling like I need to rise above whatever they say. Like, if I'm not patient and understanding and willing to let people disagree with me, it's as if I failed in some way.


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