Twice now I've heard a theory floating around the Internet. Once it was in a friend's Facebook status. Then again, in an article someone wrote.
The theory is that everyone in fact is not beautiful.
We are always telling everyone they are beautiful each in their own way, and now there are other people who seem to be disagreeing with this statement. In the same way not everyone is good at sports or not everyone is good at drawing, therefore, not everyone is beautiful either.
While I understand where people are coming from with this theory, I disagree.
I feel like the idea we're really searching for is beauty is subjective.
First of all, beauty isn't only about outer appearance. It's also about personality, passion, traits, etc.
I even went to Merriam-Webster.com and it defines beauty as this: "1) the quality of being physically attractive 2) the qualities in a person or a thing that give pleasure to the senses or the mind 3) a beautiful woman." You can look at more of the definition
here.
Yes, the first thing we think of when it comes to beauty is outer appearance. But notice how the definition is also about qualities and how it affects your senses and your mind. It's deeper than skin.
Beauty can be found in the face, body, etc. absolutely. But it is also found in people's minds, thoughts, souls, hearts, talents, and the list can go on an on. According to this definition, if something gives pleasure to the mind, it's beautiful. It includes so much more than what we usually would think of!
We also have to remember that beauty also varies from culture to culture and time period to time period. Yes, the USA Hollywood culture has a certain view of what makes a person beautiful. For girls, stick thin, tan skin, big boobs, perfect hair, etc. For guys, basically if he looks like he lives at the gym Hollywood would probably love him.
But even then... there are still varying degrees of this. For example: it's no secret I happen to think Darren Criss is amazing. Dare I say it- beautiful.
I mean... just look at him. SIGH. SWOON.
BUT... I have some friends who have told me they don't find him particularly attractive. (I KNOW. I was as shocked as you are!) Especially when he's just being "Darren" vs. "Blaine" in Glee.
On the other hand, I know of some people who think Theo James (Four from Divergent) is the hottest man to walk the planet.
Then there's me. He's not bad. I don't find him unattractive... but I also don't think he's beautiful. There are other men in Hollywood I happen to find more attractive.
Does this mean Darren is beautiful and Theo isn't? Absolutely not. It just means different people have different tastes and views of what makes someone beautiful. It also doesn't mean people who are attractive don't have days when they don't look so great.
I mean... let's be honest. We all have SnapChat selfies we aren't proud of. I'm sure even the most "beautiful" people in the world have these. Am I right or am I right?
Then there are different cultures. Yeah, our culture has one view of beauty. But back in Medieval times, if you were overweight and pasty white you were the hot chick because it meant you were wealthy and were able to have food without the hard labor.
In some cultures, long necks, big feet (or tiny feet depending on where you are), or extended lower lips is beautiful and attractive.
Here in the USA? Not so much.
Does that mean these people aren't beautiful? Nope. It just means we see it differently than other people and they see it differently than we do. And that's okay.
It's because beauty is subjective. You know, that whole phrase we've all heard: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." We all have different definitions of beauty.
Seeing things this way, couldn't you argue that everyone is beautiful to someone? In theory, if we were to get every single person in the same gigantic room and everyone got to see each other, do you really think there would be a person whom absolutely NO ONE in the world found beautiful? I'd bet not.
Everyone is beautiful - even if they aren't all beautiful to the same person.
I think there also can be varying degrees of beauty. If you look at flowers for one thing, maybe there is one flower which is more beautiful than another simply because it had more sunlight or better nourishment or something. Both flowers are beautiful, but one simply might be slightly higher on the scale. So, yes, the painful truth is there are more people who tend to flock to a certain type of beauty. Like in high school how all of the guys seem to like the same sort of girls. (Or so it appears.)
But even this is subjective. Some people think roses are the most beautiful flowers, while someone else prefers lilies. Neither is right or wrong - because it's subjective. So, just because you don't have the same amount of admirers of your beauty as other people, it doesn't mean you aren't beautiful at all.
On top of all of this - we are all made by the same creator.
For you formed my inward part; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Psalm 139:13-14
The argument could be made that "wonderfully" and "beautifully" made are two different things. However, in this instance I disagree. God made you beautiful in your own way even if not everyone views it the same way.
I know not everyone shares this view about faith and how we are made and created, and that's fine. But honestly, this is how I see it. God made you, and therefore, you are beautiful.
I also feel like when we talk about how everyone isn't beautiful and shouldn't strive to be, it almost makes me feel as though it's wrong for us to want to be beautiful. When it's not.
What's so wrong with being good looking or wanting someone to think you are beautiful? What's wrong with wanting to look good? For a long time I felt as though wanting to dress nicely and wear makeup and do my hair were shallow things, so I didn't except for special occasions. But you know what? I also didn't think myself as beautiful. I didn't think I was ugly or anything like that - but I also didn't think I was particularly beautiful either.
Then as I got older, I started to see the good qualities in my looks. I liked my hair. My eyes. My skin (sometimes). My sister encouraged me to wear makeup on a more regular basis. I started to do my hair. I finally learned to how to pick out clothes for myself which looked good. I began to feel beautiful, so I treated myself this way.
And people noticed. I've noticed in recent years, people are more willing to give me compliments on how I look than they used to be. Once, a mom I worked with at the church told me I was always a very pretty girl, but something had changed in me and I looked really beautiful. I was speechless but also flattered.
Yeah, I have a lot of great qualities with my personality, talents, etc. But it's okay to add beauty to that list. No, it shouldn't consume our lives and chase after it as though it's the most important thing in the world. It's not. I would rather spend my time with someone who is kind and funny and creative and intelligent who might not be particularly attractive (which, again, is subjective, so who knows what that means) than someone who looks like a supermodel and is a jerk.
I'm not saying I'm gorgeous or the most beautiful person ever. I'm not. But wanting to be beautiful isn't a bad thing.
And yes, you, YES YOU, are beautiful too.