Monday, December 6, 2010

New Dad

FINALLY I have been able to find a good YouTube video for a song off of Todd Agnew's Christmas CD Do You See What I See? This week I'll be talking about Joseph. If you want to read my first and second posts for this blog series here are the links:

When I first bought this CD, Joseph's song "This is All I Have to Give" was one of the songs that stood out to me. I listened to it over and over again. Before listening to the album or seeing the movie The Nativity Story (which is what the clips in the video are from) I had never really thought about Joseph. He was just always there. I payed more attention to Marry and the angels and shepherds than anyone else. But in the last few years I've grown to have an amazing appreciation for Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus. It must have been strange for him to have to act as a father to the Son of God...

In recent years I've seen more and more of my family members and my friends get married and have children. It's a really exciting time in our lives and I love seeing all of these changes. When I think of new dads, there are two people I think of.

The first is my cousin's husband. (I'll use first initials instead of names.)  While M was pregnant, us girls decided to go out and buy the couple some baby supplies. When we got home from our shopping excursion we began to put together all of the new baby items we had bought. When J came over, he too was fascinated by everything for the baby. I remember him getting the carrier together and walking around the living room with it on his arm. J is one of those guys who is really cool, on the football team in high school, popular, etc. It was so awesome to see him getting excited about having this baby and making sure everything was put together correctly and wanting to have everything ready for the little child who was about to come into his life. 

The other person I think of is a friend of mine from college, D. His son E was born only two months ago and a few friends and I had the privilege to meet E the day after Thanksgiving. It was so cool seeing this ridiculous goof ball holding and playing with his son. D told us about how when E first coughed he jumped out of his bead and was next to the bassinet in a split second. Then only a few days before I had met E, D had to spend the whole day with the baby because he had gotten sick. I loved watching him and his wife R ooh and ah over the little guy.

Even some of my friends who are guys, I see them transform the moment a baby is around. All of the sudden they are gentle, quiet, caring, and protective. Everyone always says that girls have a motherly instinct. I think men have a fatherly instinct too. J and D are perfect examples of this.

I'd always hoped you'd have my eyes, maybe a little bit of the skill of my hands,
But, as I look into your eyes, I see your hands created mine.

Imagine these two new dads, but now needing to take care of the baby Jesus. GODS SON. I feel as though Joseph had all of the same emotions D & J did when they were expecting a new baby, but even more so, and with a million other emotions as well. I feel like all dads have some of the same fears and thoughts:  How will I be able to take care of this baby? Will I be able to teach them everything they need to know for life? Will they look like me? Will I be able to take care of this family and provide for them well? Am I capable of being a dad?

I'd always thought about I'd teach you how to build your first chair, and how to treat your mum, your lovely mum,
And how to explain the reckless love of God to your simple mind,
What can I offer you, my son, when you're the living, breathing proof of everything I hoped could possibly be true?

. . . 

Why couldn't God have chosen another man?

How can I lead this family...lead when I don't understand?

How can I take the place of your Dad, when I cannot explain even how you came to be?
My sweet Jesus, my baby boy.

But what happens when your new baby, isn't YOUR new baby? What if the baby belongs to God and God is trusting YOU with him? The savior of the world is put into your care. WOW. I can't even imagine the weight of that responsibility. Needing to share his knowledge, his love, his faith... with a child who is the one who is the "living breathing proof of everything [he] hoped could possibly be true?"

So Joseph says:

This is all I have to give,
You can share my home and bear my name, but this is not how you should live,
And the son of God has become the son of man, and this is all I have to give.

Joseph had his fears. His fears about what had happed to Mary and what could possibly happen to him are in Matthew chapter 1. We do not know for sure what his others fears may or may not have been . . . but I feel like this song gives us some insight to what he may have been thinking. But we do know this:  despite his fears he take the job. The job of raising Jesus. 

We all have something to give I think. We might be afraid, and we might not think that we have much, but God knows what we have, and He wants us to give it to him. All that we have, even if we feel it isn't much, is EXACTLY what God wants. Joseph did not have much to give to Jesus, but he gave it to the baby. I hope that we can all strive to be like Joseph . . . amidst our fears . . . telling Jesus . . . it's not much, but This is All I Have to Give. 

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