I Don't Have "The One"

A few weeks ago, I was on the phone with a good friend (who is also one of my favorite writing partners) about her most recent writing project and her use of soul mates in the story. We talked about how, especially in fantasy writing, soul mates are wonderful plot tools. While it can be cliche at times, if you do it well it make make for a great plot piece.

Then, not long ago, Nadine wrote a blog piece about how she doesn't believe in soul mates. She talked about how she loves her boyfriend, but doesn't think they are soul mates. It's a fantastic post and you can read it by clicking here.

But then, a day or two ago I was on the phone with a other good friend. She recently went to a wedding in her hometown and was able to catch up with a good friend of hers. "We're soulmates," she told me. "We're not getting married or anything like that. It's not romantic and we're friends." 

Needless to say, I've been contemplating the idea of soulmates a lot lately. 

Like Nadine, I'm not entirely sure I believe in them. Yes, I do think God has a hand in the people we meet in life and everything. However, having that "one" person be "it?" I'm not so sure. Thinking in terms of marriage, what if someone's spouse dies and they marry again? Which was one their soulmate, the first marriage or the second? What if both were truly wonderful, healthy, and happy marriages? This is just one example I can think of where I'm not sure if the soulmate idea works. It might be great for storytelling, but in real life... I'm not so sure.

But I think my friend is onto something when she said her soulmate wasn't romantic. She was telling me how for some reason beyond her explanation they just worked. When they are together something clicks and she can't explain it for any other reason than that. When I look back on some of my relationships with friends and family I understand what she means. There are some people for some reason or another it just works. 

If there are such things as soulmates, I think we need to expand our definition of the word. First, our soulmate may not just be the person we marry or end up with. A soulmate can be anybody. A friend, a sibling, parent, cousin, etc. I can see in my mind the different people in my life where I can tell someone in our spirits connect. We work together in a way it doesn't work with other people. They are people I will never be romantically involved with, but my connection to them is still just as strong.

It makes me think of a quote from Sex and the City where Carrie wonders if maybe our friends are our real soulmates and boys are just there for fun. I'm not sure if I agree with the last part of her statement, but I do like the idea of our friends being our soulmates too. Who says love has to only be romantic? (Also - the amount of times I quote Sex and the City on this blog scares me sometimes.)

This doesn't mean it's always easy though. If we are going to say there is such a thing as soulmates, we need to stop buying into the lie it'll always be easy. Even with these people in my life we still have to work at it. If we're far away from each other we need to make a lot of effort to stay connected. Even with the ones who are close by, it takes effort. Schedules conflict, we still fight and hurt each other sometimes, and we have to work at forgiveness and communication. 

Even if you have a soulmate, you're still human. We still fail each other sometimes, and we need to learn to work through it.

The last thing I think we need to change about soulmates is the idea we can only have one. Why just one? Why can't our souls connect to more than one person? Especially if we're talking about adding friendship and family to the picture. Why can't your soulmates be your spouse, your best friend, and a sibling for example? They each bring something different to your life which cannot be replaced. 

We need to stop acting as though if the love you have for someone isn't romantic, it's not as strong. 

Romantic love is amazing and powerful and I don't want to act as though it's not. Because it is and it's a beautiful thing! If you find your soulmate in this type of relationship, I think that's amazing. But we still need our friends and our family just as much. Someday I might meet the love of my life and our spirits might connect in a way I can't explain. But that doesn't mean it cancels out the other connections I've made with my family and friends.

My soul connects to all of them.

Does God have that one single person for you in life? Maybe. I'm not sure. If he has given you "the one" - that's awesome. But maybe there isn't just one person who is your soulmate. Maybe it's not a boyfriend or husband or wife or whoever. Maybe you have a small handful of people you connect with on a level you can't explain.

No matter what it is - it's beautiful.

Linking up with the Faith and Fellowship blog hop.

Dreams and Doubts

Today for The Broke and The Bookish's 10 on Tuesday link up, we're talking about our bookish bucket list.

There are several goals I have when it comes to anything that has to do with reading and books. I want to meet authors (especially JK Rowling!), actually finish Les Miserables one of these days, read Anna Karennina, have a huge library in my home someday, etc. However, there are only a couple which really matter to me.

One of them really isn't a secret. If you've been following my blog for awhile, you can probably guess it.

I want to publish one of my novels. Or more. And the "old fashioned" way too where a publisher picks it up and it goes to bookstores and there are legitimate reviews and such of it. Yes, if I can't get a publisher I'll go for the self-publishing route. But, the "traditional" route appeals to me more. I know it's still not a guarantee my book would be a best seller or anything, but that's okay. Maybe it's because I want the validation of someone else reading my story and saying "Yes, this needs to be out there." Or I'm just old fashioned. Who knows.

But I keep getting in the way of myself. I see my writer friends online finishing novel after novel and I become envious (for no reason at all, really) and I think I'll never be as good as they are so why bother? Or I start an idea and I'm so excited for it, but after awhile I doubt myself, my writing, and my creativity, and want to give up. Then other times I let other things (like moving and quitting my job) get in the way of writing and my shiny, new, awesome, idea from November for NaNoWriMo gets thrown to the back burner.

Yet, the dream is still there. It's always been there. When I was a kid I thought I wanted to be a full-time writer. I toss the idea around sometimes, thinking maybe I could be an awesome freelance writer like Carrie Bradshaw and strut around the city like I own it. However, I'm not sure if I have the self-discipline to do so. The flexibility of schedule would be fantastic, but realistically, I don't think this is what I want.

Unless I become like JK Rowling where I write one book series and I'm set for life. In that case, being only a writer would be fantastic.

However... I need some more realistic expectations.

Besides, I don't want to write only because it helps me to make money. I want to write because I have a story to share.

Then, there's another goal. It's more of a daydream though, and I still go back and forth debating if it's something I actually want to go after.

It came up in conversation yesterday with my sister and a friend of hers. We were sitting in the friend's living room watching Disney movies and I mentioned how I applied for a position at a local library. Several people have told me I would do well in libraries because of my love of books. I agree, but I admitted I'm not sure if I can see it in the long term. I think the quiet would bother me too much.

Instead, I could see myself running a coffee shop/bookstore. A cozy little place where there's more noise, cushy chairs and lamps, books scattered all over the place, and open mic nights. There could even be discounts to writers during NaNoWriMo. A few of my friends and I sometimes daydream about doing something like this. I have one friend who is a barista and she could handle the coffee. Another friend is a fantastic baker and would do the food. Another works with PR and communications and could be in charge of that. Another friend does graphic design and would make all of the menus and signs and such. I even have another friend who knows business and accounting. Where I would fit in the picture, I'm not quite sure since I know nothing about running a business or anything. Maybe I would handle the books or something.

http://wonderfullybookish.tumblr.com/

The friend I was talking to yesterday said I should go for it. I told her how I know nothing about business, have never worked at a bookstore or a coffee shop, and I have no money to do this anyways. She didn't care. She still said I should go for it someday.

But I'm still not sure. I love the romanticized dream of this, but the reality? I'm not so sure. In the world where we wonder if even the big stores like Barnes and Noble will survive, would it be smart to open an independent book store? Then what about other things I want to do like traveling, being part of a theatre group, living in NYC for a year or two, and everything else - would I still be able to do those things?

Yet, it's still fun to dream and think about. Who knows what will happen in the future, right?

Humpday Confessions

One of my new favorite blogs, Vodka and Soda, hosts this link-up every week. I've been meaning to join her for awhile now, and I think it's about time I did!

Here are some Humpday Confessions!

- I had to call into work today because of the snow. I feel like such a Missourian right now, but our road and driveway had so much snow and it took forever to get it cleared and the interstate I take to get to work I heard was awful. By the time I would get to work it would be time for me to go back home. So... there's that.

- It's world Nutella Day. This means I am celebrating accordingly with a jar of Nutella. It's glorious.

- I've been marathoning Sex and the City for the last several weeks now. It's been perfect for when I want to read/work on the blog/read other blogs because I can have noise without having to pay much attention. I'm almost done with the final season. She's dating the Russian and will be going to Paris soon.

- Tonight is girls night! My friend Julie and I decided to make Wednesdays our "girls night" because her hubby has a class, and our sisters have an open invitation for whenever they're free. The roads and weather conditions are supposed to be MUCH MUCH better tonight, so hopefully we'll make it out! (Our favorite place has 1/2 price cosmos and appetizers on Wednesday!)

- I think Bandit is holding a grudge against me. My mom's dog Indy likes to cuddle with me more than he does and it makes me sad.

- My poor NaNoWriMo novel has been terribly neglected since I moved. I've worked on some character profiles and I've been brainstorming problem areas and plot holes, but hardly any actual writing has been accomplished.

- For the past month I binged on Sherlock.  I watched the first two seasons and then watched the new epsiodes like it was my religion. Now that series 3 is over I'm going through withdrawls. How long-time fans survived that 2 year hitatus I'l never know.

- As much as I'm trying to ignore the fact JK Rowling supposedly regrets Ron and Hermionie getting together... it's still there in the back of my mind and when I look at my Harry Potter books I want to cry a bit. BUT my friend Kirsti wrote this TOTALLY AWESOME post about it which I agree with 100%: http://www.melbourneonmymind.com/2014/02/the-great-jk-rowling-debacle.html?spref=fb (Also, PLEASE read the Muggle Net post about this topic because the writers and the commenters actually know what they're talking about.)

- Speaking of Harry Potter. Yesterday morning I had this dream right before I woke up that I met Darren Criss and we were on a date and he was totally falling for me. However, the only thing I could think about was if he was going to find my Tumblr and this blog and freak out because I'm a crazy fangirl.

What are some of your Humpday Confessions? Hop on over to Vodka and Soda to link up!

http://www.lifeinprogress.ca/lifeinprogress/2014/02/humpday-confessions-2.html

Some Extra Thoughts

A whole five days in a row of posting without writing prompts???? I have to say, I'm pretty proud of myself. Maybe I'm on my way to being one of the cool bloggers now.

Although- we do need to give some credit to Game of Thrones and awkward baby showers.

Speaking of baby showers, I have more to say about it.

One element of the shower that was a bit different was that someone came up and gave a devotion. I was a little surprised at this, but I really shouldn't have been. With this circle of women, it's pretty common to have a short devotion at a party or gathering of some sort. At first I wasn't sure how I would feel, since it would be directed at mothers. Which it was, and I'm not one or going to be one anytime soon.

However, there were two things she said that stuck out to me.

WWCW- What Would Carrie Write?

There have been a few moments in life when I've sat back and thought "My life is like an episode of Sex and the City"... just without the sex. Or the city for that matter. Which is why whenever I have this thought, it's always a surprise.

However, I recently had a moment when I could even picture the scenes in the TV show playing out before my eyes. It makes me wonder... how would Carrie Bradshaw see this? Or...

WWCW- What Would Carrie Write?

Apparently You All Are Fascinated With Me

Awhile back, one of my blog friends (Fire Fairy) nominated me for the Libester Award!

I'd gotten this award in the past, so I didn't respond to it right away.

Then... Kirstie wrote a post about it because apparently she was nominated as well and nominated me.

Which was a good reminder for me since I obviously hadn't gotten to writing this post yet. Therefore, here are the answers both wonderful ladies sent to me. Thanks so much for the nominations! I love you both and EVERYONE needs to go follow your blogs!

May's Soundtrack

I'm a little behind this month - so I'll have my introductory post for June's theme (Art That Touches My Soul) on Monday!

In the meantime... here are the top 10 songs that I've been jamming out to this month:

My Friends, They Are So Beautiful

With TV shows that I watch, sometimes I see a trend in what I enjoy the most.

They all seem to have something in common. They all center around a tight circle of friends who do everything together. 

However, I can't help but wonder -

Do circles of friends like this really exist?

The Other Box - Part 1

The last few months, I've become completely immersed into the Internet/Blogging world. (Thank you 20sb and Love Drop!) It's been so much fun reading different blogs, hearing about people's lives, and getting to know each writers own "voice" through their blog and/or Twitter.

I'll Understand Someday - So I've Heard

Everyone has wished that their lives could be like a movie or TV show. Personally, I have always wanted to live in the TV show Boy Meets World, for example. It seems as though when we watch favorite characters their lives always seem to come together, or they reflect how we wish things really were. But we always know that we live in reality, not in a small screen that sits in our living room. Well . . . at least in my apartment its a small screen.

About a week ago I had my very own "I feel like I'm in a TV show" moment. Although it was not from Boy Meets World. It was Sex and the City. Which is strange considering my life is NOTHING like the lives of these four characters in the TV show. 

I was invited to a party for some people that I know. I was excited to go because I have learned that since moving to Missouri my social life has been practically non-existent. So the opportunity to meet new people and to hang out with some friends seemed like fun. I knew that I wouldn't know many people there, but I had a few friends going and surely they would introduce me. 

Apparently not. 

It was a married couples party. There was perhaps one other single person in the room from what I could tell. All of the guests had come with their spouses, and some even their children. Now don't get me wrong, my friends who were there are wonderful people and I did have a good time. But I couldn't help but feel . . . out of place. All of the married couples were talking to one another and having fun. I have no idea what they were talking about because I was not invited into these conversations. I was not even introduced to the guests at the party I did not know.