Christmas Cards

To the right of my desk, I have a cork board. Through the year I pin up different memories I've had. Movie ticket stubs, favorite photos, programs from the theatre, etc. In December I clear it off, place all of the items in a box labeled for that year, and then begin placing new items up on the board. I put all of the Christmas cards I've received on first, so I have them up all year around.

Since 2017 is brand new, the only things, other than a couple wedding save the date cards, I see are Christmas cards. Having them sent to me through the month always makes me smile, and reminds me that I have more friends than I realize sometimes. I love see their life updates and happy faces looking out at me as I work on my computer on whatever project I have going at the moment.

Then comes the guilt.

Every year I intend to send out Christmas cards. I can find a favorite picture from the year, mail it out to my friends, and give them a quick update on my life.

But what would I say? What picture would I send?

"Merry Christmas! My dog Bandit is one year older this year. Isn't he adorable?"

Which... he is adorable and I'm sure people would love to see pictures of him.

Or maybe I could say "Look at how many books I've read this year! Isn't it so impressive?"

Which... yes, my 124 books I've read this year is impressive. But really?

When I see photos of exciting vacations, new babies, weddings, and job offers... these updates seem a little less than impressive.

It's a classic case of comparing myself to others, and the more I think about it, the more I delay gathering cards and addresses and sending them out. Then more Christmas cards arrive in the mail and the whole cycle begins again.

For the last 12 months, we've all been lamenting at how awful 2016 has been. Politics, deaths, terrorism, 2016 has been a doosey. It's sucked.

The thing is though, is that I've sucked too.

This isn't a statement of low self esteem or anything like that. I'm awesome and I have the potential to be awesome.

BUT I WAS NOT AWESOME THIS YEAR.

My 2016 started with my breaking my knee. Which, compared to some of my other injuries, it really wasn't that bad. I was in a lot of pain the first night, but by the next day it was tolerable and I didn't fill my pain killer prescription. I didn't have to stay overnight at the hospital, and I didn't have to have surgery. Yes, being out of work and not bending my knee for two months wasn't fun, but all things considered things could have been a lot worse.

For those two months I read. And read. And read. And read. Makes sense, since I didn't have anything else to do and couldn't walk.

Then my knee was healed and I went back to work. But I didn't return to the real world.

Instead, I just kept reading. I avoided hanging out with friends, and dove further and further into myself and my fictional worlds.

Part of this was also working on my novel - which I'm proud of. I wrote and wrote and wrote. Then, I learned that there is such a thing as writing too much. Apparently, for debut authors, literary agents won't even look at manuscripts which are over 700 pages long.

Go figure.

And that was my 2016 in a nutshell.

Not to say that these are bad things, and I did have some wonderful moments. I saw Hamilton in Chicago. I met many of my other Internet book nerd friends at BookCon and YallFest. I also met some of my favorite authors. (Becky Albertalli who wrote Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda now follows me on twitter, which is kind of awesome.) I went to weddings and was able to celebrate with my friends and family with their big moments.

Then the Christmas cards come. And I notice that my body is acting weird and randomly losing weight for no apparent reason. And I see people I haven't spoken to in years. And friends from college die. And the holidays have this weird way of forcing you to reflect on the past year and your life and everything that's wrong with it.

For me personally, I sucked.

I did not reach my full potential for awesome. And there's a lot of potential there. I want to get that awesome back.

I'm not going to stop reading and writing - obviously. That would be tragic if I did.

But I also need to make room in my life for all of the other awesome things and people around me too. I want to actually accept invitations from people when they want to hang out. I want to pay attention to my body and what it's telling me and be sure I take care of it. I want to actually talk to my friends instead of only reading about their lives through a Facebook status or the once a year card or letter I get from them in the mail.

And maybe, just maybe, next year I'll actually send out those Christmas cards to show you all how much I love you too.

Happy 2017.

If You Say Pumpkin Spice Three Times...

Ah, the first day of fall. (Or Autumn, whichever word you prefer to use.)

While the pumpkin spice latte has been here for a couple of weeks now, today is the official start of fall. 

And I'll admit it, I'm your basic white girl when it comes to fall. 

Yes, I love pumpkin spice lattes (and the salted caramel mocha! Seriously, you could argue it's even better then the PSL), scarves, boots, hoodies, warm leggings, and crunchy leaves. This has become a bit of a trope in the blog world, and on the Internet in general. We white girls in the suburbs love fall. 

Poke fun at it all you want, but all things fall are my guilty/not guilty pleasure. And why shouldn't they be? 

This is all of the awesome fall brings to the world:

- The extreme heat is gone. I HATE long summers and extreme heat. Having a bit of summer is fine where the temperatures get really high and you can wear tank tops and hit the pool/lake/beach a couple of times. But after that, I'm done. Heat is uncomfortable, sticky, gross, and you can only take off so many pieces of clothing to make yourself feel relief. In the fall? Just throw on a sweater and you're good. It's awesome being able to step outside and feel a crisp breeze instead of choking on humidity. 

- The clothes. I always love the idea of spring and summer clothing. The light colors and flowy tank tops and such. But in reality? I just look better in fall clothing. Bring on the rich dark colors, blue jeans, and scarves. I can rock those. And don't even get me started on how much I love my boots. 

- Fall means all of the best holidays and seasons are coming! (At least here... sorry Australia and the rest of the southern hemisphere. Spring brings the best holidays and seasons for you!) You got Halloween, NaNoWriMo, Thanksgiving, NaNoWriMo, Christmas is just around the corner, NaNoWriMo...

- Food. Along with the awesome holidays and such, you get great food. (Other than the drinks at Starbucks.) Also, soup! I love me some soup. Yeah, I know, I can eat soup whenever I want. But, I always feel weird going to Panera Bread and ordering a hot soup when it's sunny and 95 degrees out in the middle of July. I just do. Maybe it's just me. IDK IDK. Besides, now all of the Halloween candy is out. Who doesn't love Halloween candy? And since I'm an adult, I can go and buy some bags and Mom can't tell me I have to save it for Halloween. 

- Fall TV shows! Need I say more?

So, yeah. I love me some fall, and I don't even feel bad about it. Tease me, call me basic, and make all of the memes you want. (Because they're true.) I don't mind! I'll just be over here, drinking my Starbucks, searching for Halloween/vampire themed things, wearing a scarf, pretending this is me:

2015 Fortunate

Is 2015 really only a few days away? Where did 2014 go? There's something about getting older which makes time go faster I think.

I wish there was more I could say about 2014. It was pretty uneventful to be honest. Which I think is good sometimes. I think this year I needed it to be uneventful so I could relax and recover.

But now it's time to get off my butt and get moving again! I don't do relaxation very well for long.

I'm having a hard time thinking about what's to come in 2015 though. Heck, I can't even think of movies and books coming out this upcoming year I'm looking forward to! Which makes it hard for me to dream up of things I think will happen in this upcoming year. In my experience, you never know what will happen. Life throws so many curveballs at you - how can you predict what will happen?

Well... I'm sure some things will happen.

Babies will be born. People will get married. People will go to funerals. Celebrities will make mistakes and shock us all. Somewhere in the world there will be political and social unrest... Sometimes even a little too close to home. A big summer blockbuster will hit movie theaters and a pop song will get stuck in everyone's head to the point where we want to punch something but still jam out to it when we think no one is looking. Sports teams will win and they will lose. Cat YouTube videos will go viral.

Our world is pretty predictable once you think about it actually.

Unless the apocalypse comes of course.

But let's not go there.

Maybe there are some things I can predict, or at least hope for, in 2015.

Facing new challenges and choices. As it has been for the last year, I have a feeling my hunt for a full time job will continue through 2014. With that, I'll meet new people, have a different schedule, learn new things, and discover more about myself while also learning how to balance a new job with the other goals and dreams I have. How do you balance trying to write and participate in theatre and pursuing dreams while also still attempting to pay bills and get rid of those awful student loans?

Joining new theatre groups. There are a few shows I have my eye on in 2015 I'm hoping to audition for. I'm excited to jump back into community theatre and try my hand at new roles and groups.

Writing stories. I'm sure I'll be participating in NaNoWriMo once again in 2015 and one of my big goals is to make writing a priority. A draft will be completed. Thanks to some wonderful writing friends who are helping me out, I have a feeling this prediction could come true.

I'll continue to still be me and learning who that is. You'd think after a certain point in time you'd know for sure who you are. But I'm learning that once I figure it out, I change again. My views are constantly being challenged. My opinions change. My place in the world adjusts and I with it. Who I am at my core remains the same, but everything branching off it seems to constantly evolve.

There's no possible way we can truly predict the future. Life changes in an instant and we never know what it'll throw at us. But still, in a way there are things we can always depend on, and we can always
hope. Which I think is part of what celebrating the new year is all about.

Hope. Hope in knowing the past is gone and something else is coming. That there's always second chances, and we can always begin again.

What are your predictions for 2015?

And looking for Music Monday? Well... We've talked it over and we have decided to end music Monday. It was a fun idea at first, but have decided to have it end. Thank you to those who participated! We loved having you! 

I will leave you with one last song though. One of my holiday favorites and perfect for New Year.

A Christmas Card from Bandit and Me

On one of the the bookshelves in my room I have on display all of the Christmas cards I've received during the season. Friends from college. Friends from the Internet. Friends from Missouri. All with pictures and stories and well wishes for the Christmas season inside of them. When I look at them I love to see their smiling faces back at me and it's nice to know they are thinking of me.

Then I feel a little guilty because another year has gone by and I haven't sent out any Christmas cards to my friends I've made over the years.

"I'm not married or have babies!" I tell myself. "They don't need a card from me!"

But let's be honest - it's just another way I fail at this whole adult thing. And that's what a blog is for. Right? Right.

Well... at least for this year.

So, since I didn't send out official Christmas cards this year. Here is your virtual one from Bandit and me. Because having a dog is the same thing as having a kid. Right? Right.

This year was a year of change for Bandit and I. At the end of 2013 we moved back to Chicago, just in time for Christmas, and started over. When I moved I didn't even have a job lined up yet, even though I had been applying and interviewing.

Then, sure enough, a friend of mine called saying she had been offered a full time nursing position and was leaving the preschool aid job she was working and was wondering if I would like to step in. Of course I would! A job is a job, and I'm good with kids.

With that, as the second half of the 2013/2014 school year rolled around I started work with the preschool and have been there ever since.

Since then I also started working at an elementary school for their after school care, and now over the holidays I've begun working at a company downtown as a work from home customer service representative. Which basically means I answer phones. I also have tried to dip my toes into some freelance writing, but haven't had the time to really dive in head first yet.

To be honest, on the job front things aren't what I thought they would be at this point. But I'm learning patience, trust, and going with the flow. I'm still working on trying to find one full time job, but for the time being this is working for the most part.

The biggest focus of my year was my sisters wedding. Natalie is outrageously happy in newly wedded bliss. Planning for the wedding was fun - but stressful at times. Overall though, the wedding was a wonderful day.

Bandit has adjusted well to Chicago life. Although, the harsh winter of 2014 was a bit of a shock to my poor Missouri dog! Most of the time I had to let him out in the garage because it was too cold or I had to put him in a little doggie coat so he wouldn't freeze outside. He and my mom's dog Indy play together all of the time and he's had to learn how to share his toys. Bandit has also had to adjust to life with the cat, Peanut. That is probably his only complaint about living here in Chicago now. He and Peanut do not get along at all. I was hoping by now he would have permitted her to come upstairs from the basement and explore during the day while he's awake. But alas, that hasn't happened yet. Here's hoping for 2015!

Mom and Dad are doing well. Mom was even busier than I was with wedding plans. She did so much work! But she also did a wonderful job. I think both Mom and Dad are glad it's over though because now they can relax a bit more. I will say, being back at home with them has it's perks. It's nice being able to spend so much time with them... and I don't have to cook for myself as often. ;-)

2014 has been full of change, but it's also been quiet. I think this was my year to rest and recoup from all of the crazy of 2013 and the big choices I made and all of the stress of ministry. While I'm not one for resting too much - I think it was good for me.

Now, it's Christmas Eve. A whole year since I moved back to Chicago. Crazy, isn't it? I've loved being back up here. I've been able to reconnect with old friends while still keeping in touch with those in Missouri (as well as I can... but I know I can do better). I love being able to go downtown again and see the city and go to shows and explore. I even have gotten used to driving around downtown Chicago if you can believe it. Not that it's my first choice or anything...

Some things haven't changed though. Jesus. My family. My friends. Love. The things that matter have stuck around even with all of the change in my life the last couple of years, so overall I think 2014 has been a good one.

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all spend the holiday with those you love the most and enjoy the season.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. - John 1:14

"Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great job for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you:  You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." - Luke 2:10-12

"Love is raining down on the world tonight, there's a presence here I can tell. God is in us. God is for us. God is with us Emmanuel." - God With Us by Casting Crowns

Believe God is With Us

Christmas week is finally here! I don't know about you, but I'm stinking excited. Maybe it's because I'm on Christmas break from the preschool so I get to sleep in for the next couple of weeks. (Even though I still have my other CS job. Oh well.) But I'm excited for Christmas too. I did a ton of gift wrapping over the weekend and I'll be tying up some lose ends in the next couple of days. But overall, I'm more excited to be able to relax at home, see my family, cuddle with Bandit, and enjoy the season.

I also will be (trying) to post something up later this week. I think Bandit and I will do a little blog "Christmas Card." (If I say I"m going to do it here, publicly, I think there's more motivation for me to actually do it! Haha.) But I have been successful in posting a video everyday on YouTube - so it's not like I've been slacking in the social media creativity department!

In the meantime - it's Music Monday! The other day as I was driving around this song popped up on my iPod and just... it always makes me want to cry and gets me in the Christmas spirit. Apparently, in my world crying and Christmas go together.

I blame it on the mean customers who call me working my customer service job.

But these are happy tears - so I guess that's irrelevant.

Anyways. I'm actually going to post two songs because - ITS CHRISTMS AND YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH CHRISTMAS SONG! I post them at least once a year on this blog... but they're so just so good.

The first one is "Believe" by Josh Groban. He sang it for the movie The Polar Express.

The next one is "God is With Us" by Casting Crowns. I feel like this song fits Christmas so well and my pastor was talking about God/Love coming down at Christmas yesterday during his sermon and it made me think of this song.

Petition for a Simple Christmas

I’m sitting here on the couch with my laptop searching my brain for something to write about for Christmas. This one of my favorite times of year. I love the weeks leading up to Christmas with Advent and counting down the days. I love putting up the tree and even sometimes braving the crowded shopping malls to try and find the perfect gifts for my family and friends. Yet, for once, I have no idea what to write about.

Then, as I’m trying to think of what to write about, Merry Christmas Charlie Brown is palying on my TV. So, I’m turning my attention to Charlie Brown. This little “blockhead” has been part of my life for almost as long as I can remember. My dad read the comic every single day in the newspaper and we love to give him little books and other reminders of the Peanuts gang. Naturally, Charlie Brown has always been part of my Christmas.

Want to read more? I'm blogging over at Lazy Happy Bored Happy Sad... today! Click here to read my guest post. 

Questions Questions Questions

Not too long ago I was tagged in the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award by my friend Kirsti! So, I figured... why not join in on the fun? Thanks so much Kirsti!

Guidelines:
1. Thank the blogger that nominated you and link back to their website.
2. Post the award’s logo on your blog.
3. Answer the ten questions you have been asked.
4. Nominator ten other bloggers and ask them ten other questions.

Then, I give myself the following rule with questions like these: I can't answer anything with Harry Potter. Because obviously I could probably find a Harry Potter answer for each one.

Your questions are as follows:

1. What's your favourite Harry Potter book? (Come on, everyone has one)

Okay... this one is the exception to my rule because it's actually about Harry Potter.

UGH I have to choose just ONE?????? There are a few it could be. I love Goblet of Fire with the tournament, Harry and his friends transitioning more into being teenagers and the books start to become more mature, it's the changing point of the whole series, Cedric Diggory is in it, Draco turns into a ferret... what's not to love?

Then I also love Half Blood Prince. It was the perfect mixture of being hilarious but also serious and sad. We learn so much about Voldemort and his past and we learn about horcruxes and all of the things with Snape! But there's also all of the stupid high school relationship drama which cracks me up and I can't stop laughing.

But I have a tender spot for Deathly Hallows too because it's the end! I love how it all wrapped up and the epic conclusion - even the epilogue! I know... it's a controversial stance to have, but I LOVE THE EPILOGUE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!

2. What's the book/series that everyone raves about but you just didn't get?

The first one that came to my mind was Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell. Don't get me wrong - I like the book. But everyone seems to have this one as their absolute favorite by her and it's my least favorite. I think a big part of it was that I was expecting something really fun and light and it definitely wasn't... but I enjoyed her other books much more.

3. Which real world places do you want to visit because of a book?

London. Paris. Although I think I already wanted to go to said places but reading books just made me want to even more. 

4. What bookish merchandise are you dying to get your hands on?

Well... I really need a new bookshelf. I've been able to rearrange my shelves a few times and at the moment my books are fitting. But I know it won't last much longer.

5. What's your most anticipated book of 2015?

It's a toss between Winter and Fairest. But they're part of the same series... so it's hard to pick which one I want more. In Fairest, it'll be so fascinating to learn more about the queen. But Winter is the conclusion of The Lunar Chronicles and it's Snow White! Snow White is my favorite fairy tale!

6. Which book character do you wish you could be best friends with?

I would love to be friends with Edward Zanni from How I Paid for College by Marc Acito. He's hilarious and we would have epic musical theatre duets.

7. What's the last book you gave five stars to?

Oh! I just finished Mortal Heart by Robin LaFevers. It's the third book in the His Fair Assassin trilogy and it was completely perfect. 

8. Which secondary character do you wish would get their own book?

ZUZANA from Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy. She's the actual best ever and I love her and her boyfriend so much!


9. Which author, alive or dead, do you wish you could meet in person?

Rainbow Rowell. From what I can tell from her Twitter account, she and I would be really good friends.

10. How many books do you own?

I actually kinda know the answer to this one because I'm a nerd like that and keep a record of all of the books I own. Yeah... I'm  a nerd. As of my last inventory I own 375 books. That's not including the ones down in boxes in my basement that I never unpacked. Those are mainly the youth ministry type books which were in my office back in Missouri.

Now, it's my turn to tag people and ask them questions! My questions are...

1) What is one of the most underrated books/series you've ever read?
2) What's your favorite holiday story?
3) If your pet wrote a story about the holidays, what do you think it would be about? If you don't have a pet, pick your favorite animal.
4) Tell me about your favorite classic story/book/movie.
5) What are you looking forward to in 2015?
6) What's your favorite holiday dessert? (Can you tell I'm in a holiday mood?)
7) Which fictional character do you think you are the most like?
8) What is your latest Netflix binge?
9) Who are your favorite YouTubers? If you don't watch much YouTube, share bloggers, Tweeters, Instagramers, etc.
10) What's your current background on your laptop/tablet/cell phone?

And I tag... (Even though I know most of them probably won't do it... but I don't care!)

Amber of Mr. Thomas and Me
Dana of Princess Burlap
Angie of Sailor July
Michelle of Wide Open Spaces
Brittany of Stories, Songs, and Praise
Amanda of Musical Poem
Anne of GeekBrarian

Okay... that's all I got. I know I'm supposed to do ten, but oh well.

Also, I've been awful about keeping you all updated on my YouTube channel and my doing Vlogmas. Here's the whole playlist of what I have done so far!

I Feel it in My Fingers

Today for Vlogmas, the topic is our favorite holiday movie. I can never choose my favorite because it's between Love Actually and The Muppet Christmas Carol. They're both so different- but so awesome!

Tell me about your favorite holiday movies!

Baby It's Cold Outside

It's Music Monday - and today we're talking about our favorite holiday songs!

Which... let's face it... I'll probably do holiday songs every week this month.

Today I'm sharing with you Idina Menzel and Micheal Buble's version of "Baby It's Cold Outside." Their cover is so cute! I can't get enough of it. It's tied now as my favorite version along with Kurt and Blaine singing it in Glee. Seriously, watch the video and you'll see what I mean. Cute cute cute!

What's your favorite holiday song at the moment?

And, as promised, here's my video for the day!

Letters to Advent

Today marks the first day of Advent.

In the liturgical church calendar, Advent is the beginning of the year and the start of our preparation for Christmas. It lasts the four weeks leading up to Christmas and the last day is Christmas Eve. Then Christmas day starts the season of Christmas which lasts twelve days. (Thus, the 12 Days of Christmas.) It's a season where we focus on waiting, preparation, and the arrival of Jesus. Remembering his birth, but also to remember he's coming again.

It's one of my favorite times of year and sometimes I wish we focused on it more instead of just jumping right to Christmas and then having the season end once Christmas Day is done.

This year, I'm participating in Vlogmas. It's hosted by We Blog We Vlog (who does Vlog Every Day August) and Kirstie and I have gotten everything set up so people can sign up and we have the topics calendar ready to go. Click here if you want to learn more and sign up.

I'm combining it with Advent though. Some of you might have heard of "Letters to July" on YouTube. I'm going to do letters to Advent as well as the Vlogmas topics. It'll be a cool hybrid of the two ideas. (Hopefully.) Today, I was able to put together my first video for Letters to Advent.

I've finally completed NaNoWriMo and I'll be honest - I'm a bit burned out on writing at the moment. (Expect a NaNoWriMo wrap up post later this week.) Which I'm not worried about- this never lasts. But I'm glad to be taking a break, and I think making videos everyday in December will help renew my creative juices. 

I'll be linking my videos on the blog everyday. So, even if I don't actually write a post, there will at least be a video to watch!

My Tattoo Story

First- I'm posting on the Instagram account @TheBlogBaton today! Everyday a different blogger gets to take over the account and post photos of their day. It's a great way to get to know other bloggers and get exposure for your own. Go follow the account to see what I'm up to today! Also, if you go to the account profile you'll find out more information if you would like to be part of The Blog Baton too. 

You might have noticed in my post on New Years Eve that I randomly threw in at the end my getting two tattoos.

Yup. You read and saw that correctly. 

For some people, this is probably a complete shocker. For a few others, they know I've been talking about it for a little while.

For almost everyone, the fact I got two tattoos and one of them on my forearm was totally out of left field.

I've tossed around the idea of getting a tattoo for a few years now, but I could never pick between all of the ideas I had or a location. Even beyond that, I honestly wasn't sure how it would go over with my working at a church. I could see both positive and negative reactions from people, so I held off. When I decided to leave youth ministry, I knew the window of opportunity was open.

I had decided to do it right around Christmas as a gift to myself. I also decided I wanted to have it done in Missouri because I had several friends there with tattoos and they would know the best places to go and get it done.

A few weeks ago I texted my friend Emily (I consider her and her husband the tattoo experts in the area) about ideas, where to go, and placements. She recommended Flesh Hound in Cape, and she even had friends who worked there. She also told me to stop by there sometime to get a price quote and toss around ideas with the artists.

About a week or so later, my last week in Cape to be exact, I ended up having some extra time one afternoon and since I was in the area, I stopped by the tattoo parlor Emily told me about. Luckily, it was a slow day and I was able to chat with one of their artists, Chris. By this point, there were two I knew I wanted at some point. He drew up ideas with me and we talked fonts, placements, etc. and he gave me a price quote if I wanted to get both. He even said he could do it that afternoon, but I decided to wait because I wanted someone with me. He also showed me what the tattoos would look like in 10 years time and compared fonts with me and put examples on my arm so I knew how big it would be.

That Friday, another friend of mine said she would go with me to get the tattoo. At this point, I was thinking about only getting one. I felt like getting two was going overboard for my first time. However, after talking with my friend she convinced me to just get both. One of them was really small, and in the long run, getting both at the same time would be cheaper because he was giving me a small discount. 

So... here they are!

This is on my right forearm and it is a quote from Les Miserables. I knew I wanted a quote of some kind, and I felt like something from a musical would fit me best. I had considered doing "Careful the tale you tell, that is the spell" from Into the Woods because that is my all time favorite show, it's about fairy tales, and the quote talks about stories. All things which fit me and my personality. However, I  have always loved this quote from Les Mis, it's a story which I've been in love with for years, and it reflected more of my world view and faith. 

As for placement, this really was my favorite. I know it was a bold choice, and depending on what job(s) I have and when I'm in plays I'll have to cover it up. But when I thought about other placements, I just didn't like them as much.

Of course... Harry Potter! I saw this design online a few months ago, and when I saw it I knew I had to have it. You all know how much I love Harry Potter, and this design was so simple and cute. It's easy to cover up and it's really tasteful. I can show my geek side without being completely ridiculous.

Did they hurt?

Absolutely!

In fact, I was completely terrified. I kept asking friends what it felt like and was never satisfied with their descriptions. I even told the tattoo artist how scared I was about getting them. But I kept reminding myself that I have had several needles stuck into my body throughout my life and have broken my femurs multiple times without shedding a tear. I could handle tattoos.

And while it did hurt, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. There were moments which hurt more than others, probably because it hit nerve endings or something, but nothing I couldn't handle. My friend who came with me also distracted me with pictures of her cats and she and the tattoo artist were good at keeping conversation going. So it wasn't that bad. So if any of you are wondering about the pain - yes, it hurts, but it's definitely something you can handle.

Am I happy with them?

Yes!

I'll admit, for the first day or two when I would see my arm I'd kinda freak out and be all "OMG WHAT DID I DO THIS IS PERMANENT!" But I really do love it. I love the font because it's so elegant and I think it fits me so well. And the Harry Potter one on my calf is adorable!  I've loved showing them off to people. I did hide them from everyone at church over the weekend after I got them because I felt like shocking everyone in my last days would be a bad way to leave. But it was really hard to hide because I kept on wanting to be all "Hey guys! Look what I did!"

Will I do it again?

Probably not. Not because they aren't worth it, but because I feel like two tattoos on me is a perfect number.

Did my family freak out?

Not as badly as I thought they would. My sister was a little surprised by how big the one on my arm was and that I had gotten two. My mom's first reaction was "That's on my baby!" (which made me feel a little guilty) and my dad just rolled his eyes and said "whatever." I think they've gotten used to it though and even kind of like them. In fact, my mom did the photos for this post. Granted - she got a new camera for Christmas so she was happy to have an excuse to play with it!

What do my friends think?

I think they like them! One has named them my "quarter life crisis" ... which is a fair assessment. Haha. My friend Emily had the best reaction - she was so happy for me! As for everyone else, they think I'm a little crazy but also brave and they like them. So... overall, people are cool with it.

Do any of you have tattoos? Anyone want to share their stories? What do you think of my Christmas gift to myself?

Christmas Week in Review

First off, I want to apologize for the crazy that was my blog on Friday. First, the link-up tool wasn't working, and then it just messed everything else up. My layout was screwy, people couldn't comment, links weren't working - it was awful. But it seems as though everything is cleared up and working again. So, if you want to participate in the 2013 Book Wrap-Up - you still can! Just click here. 

Okay, moving on.

Whew. Is it really Monday already? Was Christmas really last week? Have I really been back in Chicago for a week now? This is crazy. However, technically it is still only the sixth day of Christmas. (Yes, the 12 days of Christmas actually START on Christmas day. Today we should get six geese-a-laying.) Which means, we're still in the Christmas season and we can keep celebrating. Cue NSYNC "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays!" 

However, since I accidentally took a blogging break last week, I'm behind in updating you all on how moving and celebrating with my family went. So... here we go! Be ready for a nice picture dump.

Sunday- my last official day at St. Andrew

If you couldn't tell by my tweets and Facebook posts that morning, for at least the first two hours of the day I couldn't look at anyone in the eye without crying. I even told some people that I wasn't ignoring them, I just didn't want to start crying again.

But, they did have an awesome spread of food between services including this fabulous cake. 

The cake, and all of the other food, was fantastic! One thing you can never fault St. Andrew for is food. They know how to eat there.

They also gave me this beautiful poinsettia.

Also, you can't see it well in this picture, but Pastor Short wore this wig during his sermon when he was pretending to be Joseph. Basically, whenever I felt sad I would picture this in my mind and I would laugh.

 That afternoon, my mom and sister arrived to help me pack, and we had the Christmas pageant. (Which I wrote and helped direct.) Here is my fantastic cast:

 It was an emotional, but very good day. I am so grateful for St. Andrew and all of the support (and Starbucks gift cards!) they have given me over the last 5 1/2 years. I'm going to miss them, and all of my other friends in Cape, so much.

 Monday- Moving Day!

Yeah... that's my empty bedroom in my old apartment. Remember when I was first moving in there and it was a big fiasco? Sigh. Good times, good times. You can read about that story here and here. 

Basically the whole day was me running errands, us picking up the truck (which was another ridiculous fiasco), packing boxes, driving up to Chicago, and my saying a few final goodbyes. But, I did get a lead on a part-time job that day up in Chicago. Hooray!

Tuesday- Christmas Eve

Which turned out to be the coldest Christmas Eve in a decade according to the Chicago news. It was zero degrees when I woke up, and I had to go out into the cold to get orange juice and coffee cake for our breakfast with my sister and her fiance. I'm sure everyone in Missouri was laughing at me. 

However, we had a lovely Christmas Eve. My sister and her fiance came over for breakfast to exchange gifts and help unload the truck as well as hang out for a little while.  Also, don't my mom decorate the most beautiful tree?

I also must officially live in Chicago now because I received my first pieces of mail. Christmas cards from my friends!

That night Mom and I went to the candlelight service at the church where I grew up and my family are still members. I'll admit, I was nervous about going back and having to answer a lot of awkward questions about why I moved back and what I'm doing now. But I didn't have too many of those, and I even had a quick chat with my 8th grade teacher (who coincidentally was college roommates with the wife of a St. Andrew staff member). She was really supportive and said how we need to go after our dreams while we can. Then, our senior pastor had the most wonderful sermon about praising God and all he has done. It was one of the best Christmas Eve sermons I've heard.

Wednesday- Christmas Day!

AKA- the day my parents and I never get out of our pajamas. Ever.

We did get a light dusting of snow that night, so we can officially say we had a white Christmas.

 All we did was sit around the house, eat, open gifts, unpacked a bit, and watched Christmas movies. It was lovely after all of the crazy of moving. Lazy Christmases are my favorite because you aren't stressed about having to get to places and you can simply enjoy being with your family and soaking in all God has done.

Name that movie!

The Christmas Haul!

Since everyone else in blog land is doing it...

This one from one of my closest friends, and she got me some nail polish along with a fantastic bag/purse for books and tablets. I've been needing a good way to carry around my iPad for awhile now, so this was perfect!

From "Santa" I got a lovely Sephora eye-shadow palette that I can't wait to try out, sweaters and tops, leg warmers,leggings,  a head wrap to keep my ears warm, and a Barnes and Noble gift card.

Then, in the mail, Leah sent me a box of Starbucks k-cups for my Keurig and this pretty ring!

Overall, it was a good week. Christmas was wonderful and relaxing, and now the big move is over. I do get pangs of missing my friends in Missouri, but they've been texting me and my friends up here in Chicago have already been distracting me by going out to eat and catching up. Then this week my family and I are heading over to Indiana to see my mom's side over there for the New Year. I'm so excited to see them!

How was everyone else's week since I kinda disappeared and have no idea what's going on with everyone?

I Moved!

I'm here! I'm alive!

I had full intentions of getting some quick posts up on Friday and Monday, then only taking a break for Christmas Eve and Christmas day. However, with moving, directing a Christmas pageant, going to goodbye parties, packing, church, more goodbyes, and getting ready for Christmas... it just didn't happen.

Priorities, yo.

However - Christmas was wonderful, goodbyes were sad, and moving was successful.

I even got all of my books unpacked today.

There was a point where I thought I had lost several books, but they were just in a box I hadn't uncovered yet. Although, it did make me think that I might need a system so I know all of the books I have so I don't actually lose any next time. If any of you have a good system for keeping track of your books let me know in the comments. I might make it my project that I work on while I'm searching for a job...

Also, I think my mom was judging me a little bit about how I don't feel at home without my books unpacked and how I need them to be organized.

Which... she probably is right to judge me. Haha.

Speaking of books - tomorrow I'm doing a link-up! It's to wrap up all of the books I've read in 2014 and I would love for you to join me. Here are the survey questions:

1) How many books have you read this year?
2) What book surprised you the most?
3) What book were you the most disappointed in?
4) Did you start any new series?
5) Did you finish any series?
6) What was your favorite book cover this year?
7) What was the best non-fiction book you read?
8) What are you currently reading?
9) Any reading goals for 2014?
10) What books are you looking forward to in 2014?
11) What other books deserve a shout out?
12) Your top 3 books of 2013.

The link-up will be live as of midnight and will be open until Tuesday (I think). So go through your list of books you've read this year and let me know your answers. 

Don't read much? One - how sad! BUT you can still participate if you would rather use the questions in reference to music, movies, TV, etc. 

More Favorite Christmas Songs

Last week, I shared with you all my top ten favorite Christmas songs that weren't faith based. With Christmas being exactly ONE WEEK from today - here are my favorite faith based Christmas songs.

This list was really hard. I grew up old-school Lutheran so I know a lot of traditional Christmas hymns. Then when I was in high school I was in my school's madrigal ensemble and we sang a ton of old Christmas songs that you don't really hear all that often which I love. On the other hand, there are also some fantastic newer songs from the last few years which I've fallen in love with. So, it was hard to pick only ten.

I tried to do some traditional as well as newer. I think someday in the future I'll make a list of my favorite Christmas songs that aren't as popular. (Example: The Boar's Head. It's a classic!) Not this year since I've already done two playlist posts this season. Maybe next year though. Just remind me. ;-)

Anyways - here are 10 of my favorite Christmas songs which focus on faith in no particular order.

All I Have to Give- Todd Agnew, Do You See What I See?

A couple of years ago I did a series on Todd Agnew's Christmas album Do You See What I See? It's one of the best Christmas albums I've ever heard and I personally feel like it captures the heart of Advent the best. This is the song he wrote from Joseph's point of view. I know there are a couple of other songs about Joseph out there, but this one is my favorite. I love how it's all about him feeling like he can't take care of Jesus. But you can hear how much he loves God, loves Mary, and loves Jesus. He wants to do his best. He wants to give everything he can - even if it isn't much.

Do You Hear What I Hear?- Bing Crosby

There's something about this song that grabs me. It's all about sharing the Christmas story, sharing the hope and the good news.

The First Noel

There isn't a particular version of this song I like the best, although for some reason I do really enjoy the NSYNC version. (Don't judge.) It simply tells the story. It's simple, but beautiful. Also, I vaguely remember them signing this song in a Pippi Longstocking movie.

God is With Us- Casting Crowns, Peace on Earth

This is my favorite song from Casting Crowns' Christmas album. The concept of "God With Us" is one of my favorites for the Christmas season. God doesn't just hang out on the sidelines watching us. At Christmas, he came to be WITH us. He became one of us. It's so beautiful. The lyrics are so beautiful too. "Love is raining on the world tonight. There's a presence here I can tell. God is in us, God is for us, God is with us Emmanuel." I share this song on this blog almost every year.

Little Drummer Boy- Bing Crosby and David Bowie

Like "All I Have to Give", this song focuses on how someone doesn't have much to give, but they want to give anyways. I know this story isn't actually in the Bible, but I love it so much. His gift is music. He gives what he has, which is all any of us can give. Also, this is a great arrangement and I love how two different artists came together to sing this mash-up. It's a classic.

Magnificat

There are a ton of different versions of the Magnificat (Mary's song in Luke 1:46-56). The words pull at my heartstrings and I love how Mary's reaction to the news of being pregnant with God's son is a song of praise. We always talk about Mary probably being afraid and such, which may have been true, but I think we sometimes forget that her reaction was actually joy. She just starts praising God for all he has done. This is the version Todd Agnew put on his album, but there are a lot of them. Some of the classical versions are beautiful.

O Holy Night

Technically, one of my favorite versions was when my friend Leah sang it as a duet for church a few years ago. However, I don't have a link to a video of it. So we'll go with my next favorite version - Lea Michele. Yes, I know it's Glee, but her cover of the song gives me chills. But even beyond her singing, it's the lyrics. How it captures the awe of Jesus being born. The hope we have now. The light in the darkness he brings. While Jesus is our best friend and we can go to him, but I think sometimes we forget how holy and amazing he is. We get caught up in the 6lbs 8oz baby Jesus stuff, we forget he's God. It's awe inspiring, and this song captures that.

Silent Night

Of course, Silent Night. Who doesn't love this hymn? But the story is beautiful too. I remember reading as a kid how a little German church's organ wasn't working on Christmas Eve (not sure how true that is or not...) so their assistant pastor and music director wrote this song and played it on a guitar. Again, it's the whole idea of not having much to give, but still giving everything. (I'm sensing a theme in my tastes...) Also, what captures Christmas more than Silent Night and signing it at a Christmas Eve candle light service?

Oh Come All Ye Faithful

It's all about wanting to come and adore Jesus. To come and worship him.

Oh Come Oh Come Emmanuel

The older I get, the more and more I appreciate this song. It's the spirit of Advent. Of waiting for redemption. Waiting for God to come. Then rejoicing knowing he has come and will come back again. And I love how ancient it is and the history behind it and the connections to the O Antiphons. My favorite versions are done with strings (Lindsey Sterling's is fantastic!), and actually, Kelly Clarkson did a good job with it on her Christmas album. But I'm sharing with you Pentatonix's cover because it's beautiful and they have more than just the first verse.

My Favorite Christmas Songs

I'm all about the lists apparently this week. However,  I haven't done a playlist post in a long time. Therefore, you're going to get TWO playlists this month!

Today, here are my top 10 Christmas songs I've been listening to that aren't faith based. (You'll get the faith-based one later.) Here they are in no particular order:

Believe- Josh Groban from the Polar Express soundtrack. 

I first saw The Polar Express with some of my friends in college my freshman year. We had randomly decided to drive back to my hometown and we saw it that night. I remember afterward we were so happy and full of Christmas spirit and we twirled around in the parking lot in the snow after. It was magical. I think of that night every time I watch the movie and hear this song. (And special shout-out to another song from the movie, "When Christmas Comes to Town." It's really touching.)

Cold December Night - Michael Buble

Guys - this song is just so stinking adorable. It doesn't really remind me of anything in particular. Only that it makes me happy and giddy.

Extraordinary Christmas - Glee

Of course I need a Glee shout-out, and this song is from my favorite Christmas episode. It's from season 3 when they did a black and white special. It was perfect and hilarious! This is Rachel and Blaine's "audition" for the special. I don't know why, but every time it comes up on my iPod I can't help but turn up the volume. It's another one that just makes me happy.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas- Judy Garland, Meet me in St. Louis
Nothing beats Judy Garland singing this song. Other people sing it well- but it's just not the same. My mom, sister, and I try to watch Meet Me In St. Louis every year. While it's not exactly a Christmas movie, it has some great Christmas scenes and of course this song. For the first couple of years when I lived in Missouri, my sister and I would drive up to Chicago on Christmas Eve and we would arrive just in time for this movie to be on TV. Or I remember the year my Grandma was first diagnosed with cancer and I watched this movie. The song brought me a lot of comfort because it reminded me that even though we have troubles, we can still have a merry Christmas.

I'll be Home For Christmas- Josh Groban

It really doesn't matter which version of this song I listen to. This is simply the first one I found on my iPod Christmas playlist. What's awesome, is that almost every year as I drive home for the Christmas holidays, by pure coincidence, this song comes on my iPod as I turn onto the streets of my hometown.

White Christmas- Bing Crosby

Naturally, this song is on the list. You really can't beat the classics and I love the movie too.

Baby it's Cold Outside- Glee Cast

To be clear- if you're judging me on how much I love Glee covers of songs... this really isn't the blog for you. And I thank my friends and family who read my blog who just roll their eyes and accept it.

But honestly, I never was a huge fan of this song. I didn't have problems with it, but it wasn't a favorite. Then, for some reason, when Kurt and Blaine start to sing it, I fall in love. We'll just add it to the list of reasons why I'm a bad youth minister. 

This Christmas Day- Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Christmas Eve and Other Stories

Granted- this entire album is fantastic. It's not Christmas until you've listened to some TSO. But I love this song at the end of the album and the end of the story. How the father is so excited his daughter is coming home, everyone is joyous, and the angel can return to heaven to show God what he fount. It's... it's wonderful. Every year my group of friends from college would go to their concert and I was able to go my senior year. It was fantastic. This band was also a favorite of our friend Matt Nix who passed away (I hate that phrase by the way. But there really isn't a good way to say it) a couple of years ago. TSO was one of the few bands we both liked and whenever I listen to this album I think about him. Although his favorite song was "Old City Bar."

You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

I don't care if it's the original or the one from the Jim Carry version. This song is a classic. I love the story, I love both movies, and it's wonderful. When I was a kid, my sister and I had this big book which had 6 Dr. Seuess stories. I basically only read How the Grinch Stole Christmas because ... well... ITS THE GRINCH!

All I Want For Christmas is You- Mariah Carey, Merry Christmas

I'm pretty sure this is my all time favorite Christmas song that's not faith based. I don't know why. It doesn't bring back any special memories. Only that it's classic 90s and I love it. This is even my ringtone starting the day after Thanksgiving. It's fun and cute and sweet and it makes everything happy.

So, what are your favorite Christmas songs that you've been jamming out to this year?