tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4183889572568768724.post5440582128330291890..comments2023-11-02T02:44:00.390-05:00Comments on Love Woke Me Up This Morning: Advice for Teenage Girls- My Two CentsEmily Hornburghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03517036280716456767noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4183889572568768724.post-22232468250360847602011-06-27T16:47:18.518-05:002011-06-27T16:47:18.518-05:00Those are some really good points Becca, and I thi...Those are some really good points Becca, and I think I probably should have rephrased some things. Because I can totally see where you are coming from. I don't mean touching you and it hurts when it's just you two getting used to each other. I mean more like "I really don't want him to touch me there and I've told him so but he won't listen" type of idea. The same thing with the changing statement. Yeah, if you are hurting his feelings or something- then you should change that. I mean more of things about what makes you, you, the good stuff. More manipulative. <br /><br />But I can totally see where you thought I was going too extreme. I'll be sure to clarify next time. Thanks for the thoughts!Emily Hornburghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03517036280716456767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4183889572568768724.post-71616369447533506242011-06-27T16:25:53.736-05:002011-06-27T16:25:53.736-05:00This is mostly very good advice, but...
If he EVER...This is mostly very good advice, but...<br /><i>If he EVER touches you in a way that hurts you or makes you uncomfortable GET OUT. And if he EVER wants you to change or puts you down, GET OUT.</i><br /><br />I understand that you mean "don't tolerate being abused," but as you've phrased this it is far too extreme.<br /><br />Men tend to have big fingers and rough cuticles. Furthermore, when someone is touching you, he can't feel what it feels like, and he's a different person with different preferences than you, and this ESPECIALLY applies to touching body parts that he doesn't even have himself. At some point he will do something that hurts or is uncomfortable, and it's just an accident; he means well! So that's not a reason to leave; it's a reason to speak up and explain and help him do it better.<br /><br />And if he ever wants you to change? Well, it's worth evaluating whether he's got a point, because unless you are perfect, you might in fact need to change. Example: When I was 18, my boyfriend told me how deeply it hurt his feelings when I would pull out of a kiss and snap, "Eww, stop drooling all over me!" He was trying to be romantic, and he was very insecure about his kissing abilities since he was a novice. I was being much too rude about it. It was right for me to change to more polite words and, in fact, change *my* kissing technique to one that stimulated his salivation less. Both things served me well in future relationships as well as that one.<br /><br />Your advice as written basically says, "If he isn't perfect on the first try, or he doesn't think you're completely perfect, don't make any effort to communicate; just break up." That's a recipe for instability and loneliness. Nobody is perfect, especially at first.'Beccahttp://articles.earthlingshandbook.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4183889572568768724.post-33375638361453203422010-07-15T22:53:54.934-05:002010-07-15T22:53:54.934-05:00You are seriously one of the smartest people I kno...You are seriously one of the smartest people I know. I'm so glad we're friends.Leahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16639925448456059236noreply@blogger.com